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Author Topic: Spam!  (Read 587 times)
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StrayCatBlues
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« on: February 11, 2010, 05:30:42 PM »
I don't mean the processed pig arse which seems to have quite a little following.

I decided to actually check my spam folder and it made me snicker.

Here are the five most recent.

50% Off Lazer Eye Surgery
Gillian Be Naughty This Valentine Day
Cosmetic Surgery Excellence
Gillian Win A Cake Everyday For A Year!
Your Tasty Benefits Are Being Served...

I think the cake is my favourite, and I could get cheap lipo after eating one everyday for a year.

Why on earth would anyone want a fucking cake everyday?... maybe thats the naughty they're referring too?  My Tasty Benefits Are Being Served? what! my prize cake?

I have no need for lazer eye treatment but if I did I would like to think the clinic doing it would be able to spell laser.  I suppose it could be a brand name with a Z?  Grin

So take a look and say what the funniest spam you've got?
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JSayonara
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« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2010, 05:53:14 PM »
Luckily I don't get much spam.

A cake a day though, that's classic I've known a few girls who sit on the internet all day who'd fucking love that. (although in the interest of fairness I know a few fat bastard I.T guys who wouldn't say no to that either. Grin)

I could do with a compo for a pack of fags a day though, bastard things cost me a fortune. Angry  Grin
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Scotty
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« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2010, 05:57:15 PM »
I got a spam text the other day, with my name in it, telling me my $3000 loan had been approved and to contact this number with my bank details.

Um, hello......?
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measle
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« Reply #3 on: February 11, 2010, 06:07:56 PM »
Quote from: Doody the Tiger on February 11, 2010, 05:57:15 PM
I got a spam text the other day, with my name in it, telling me my $3000 loan had been approved and to contact this number with my bank details.

Um, hello......?

I had a similar one, but mine involved my recent decision to loan 5000 to a deposed Nigerian prince.  he's going to pay me back double when he gets to America.  Mama Mease didn't raise no fool.  Wink
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poisonpenpals
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« Reply #4 on: February 11, 2010, 06:24:40 PM »
Like many people I recieved more than one of the Nigerian prince emails, some possibly using a bot to fish and maybe even write the emails since they confused my first and last names.  "When M'buntu Joseph died we knew we had luck when we find you Joseph ******."  I also received an email trying to get Sadam Hussein's money out of Iraq from soldiers supposedly. 

And while all of these were amusing some of my favorite spams have come from my propensity to visit some of the more *ahem* adult oriented web sites.  "Jospeh we will enlarge yuor Pen*i$.  Want to make your gilrfriend happy?! Bigger pen!s stimulates more nerve endings in female vagina" 

And my personal favorite from Koji Montez, "Excuse my terminology, I'm not a cybernetics specialist."  Which at first you would imagine involves a robotic prostitute and a vagina mounted on a gyroscope rotating 360 degrees but actually just involves lots of badly spelled words with ill placed underscores and inappropriate hyphenates.
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StrayCatBlues
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« Reply #5 on: February 11, 2010, 06:36:52 PM »
I'm starting to feel special...so nobody else got cake...   Grin

I've never had a Nigerian Prince, but did have a fake AOL once wanting credit card details those kinda things are just really shady all ways round.

Andy, love the new avatar.  Thumb's Up
« Last Edit: February 11, 2010, 07:09:46 PM by StrayCatBlues » Logged
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measle
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« Reply #6 on: February 11, 2010, 06:39:54 PM »
You guys make it sound like I wasn't contacted by a real Nigerian prince?  I'll make believers out of you, when we're playing football with your heads.
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How everything you ever love will reject you or die. Everything you ever create will be thrown away. Everything you're proud of will end up as trash. "— Chuck Palahniuk

Get down on both your knees and blow me, you stupid little toonhead jackass bitch. - SDcomics

I know I always say this, but fuck, gloating is evergreen - John Moores
Mister Sinister
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« Reply #7 on: February 11, 2010, 06:42:50 PM »
The Nigerian Prince has been contacting me several times a day for months now.  I'm in good company with Measle.  Before he died, he was probably a lurker here. laugh
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poisonpenpals
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« Reply #8 on: February 11, 2010, 06:45:37 PM »
I'm tired of Nigerian princes.  They're so... so... passe.  I want something current.  Something rising up out of recent tragedies looking for cash like an undead infomercial. "Hello, I am desperately trying to retrieve Ted Kennedy's millions from guerrilla forces in Zimbabwe.  But Maria Shriver won't let me.  Please send me your bank account number.  Only you can help!"
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poisonpenpals
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« Reply #9 on: February 11, 2010, 07:07:56 PM »
Quote from: measle on February 11, 2010, 06:39:54 PM
You guys make it sound like I wasn't contacted by a real Nigerian prince?  I'll make believers out of you, when we're playing football with your heads.

I can't believe Measle is resorting to these Idi Amin style intimidation tactics.  Fortunately, I've been corresponding via email with a cybernetics specialist who can protect us all with his army of robot hookers.
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measle
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« Reply #10 on: February 11, 2010, 08:26:48 PM »
Quote from: poisonpenpals on February 11, 2010, 07:07:56 PM
I can't believe Measle is resorting to these Idi Amin style intimidation tactics.  Fortunately, I've been corresponding via email with a cybernetics specialist who can protect us all with his army of robot hookers.

Mattel we need figures of the participants of this epic battle right now!!!
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How everything you ever love will reject you or die. Everything you ever create will be thrown away. Everything you're proud of will end up as trash. "— Chuck Palahniuk

Get down on both your knees and blow me, you stupid little toonhead jackass bitch. - SDcomics

I know I always say this, but fuck, gloating is evergreen - John Moores
Coffee Joe
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« Reply #11 on: February 11, 2010, 08:57:08 PM »
The best spam I ever got almost actually convinced me to send money.

It was from someone purporting to be an alien, who needed vast amounts of money to fix his hyperdrive in his broken spacecraft.  He was trying desparately to get home and needed my help to get him the necessary parts.

It was such a fantastic story I almost paypaled him as a reward.
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JQ
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« Reply #12 on: February 11, 2010, 09:57:12 PM »
Nothing exciting in my spam folder, but when I check my email Yahoo is always trying to get me to Meet Black Singles.
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Scotty
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« Reply #13 on: February 11, 2010, 10:05:23 PM »
Quote from: JQ on February 11, 2010, 09:57:12 PM
Nothing exciting in my spam folder, but when I check my email Yahoo is always trying to get me to Meet Black Singles.

You should forward those to John Mayer. I hear he - no, wait.... maybe I got that wrong........
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Coffee Joe
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« Reply #14 on: February 11, 2010, 11:55:28 PM »
 laugh
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"But that's life, a work in progress. It's a continuing story until you die." -- Rocko

"Joe is the kind of person I’d trust with anything – my kids, my secrets, my life. He’s solid gold." -- Andy
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