have i just hit nerdrock bottom?

[pootboy]

as most of you know, and to the delight of some, i've not been a happy camper lately.  once i started taking these blood pressure meds, the one's that took the fun out of fucking 20-something bi-polar goth girls with 76 fucking 'labyrinth' tattoos, it's been something of a kafka-esque bouncy kingdom round these parts, minus the pedophilia. 

anyhow, i figured you stupid, stupid cunts are the only one's who'd appreciate this little tale.

so, a number of factors contributed to the notion that i should cut back on the boozage-- almost getting run over, arrested, and pregnant, plus a very, very generous helping of road-rash, all in one night, helped lead me to this truly horrifying conclusion. 

so i began a self-detox, since nobody else seemed to want my tox.  and OMG it's just been soooo much FUN!  just kidding.  there's nothing like sobriety to remind why you gave it up in the first place.

anyway, had a relapse of sorts one night, alone in stately poot manor, and guess what my drunk ass decides to do?  no seriously, guess. 

ok, seriously weird, how did you get that in one try?

yup, thaz right-- I facebooked Gil Gerard.

no, i'm not telling you what i wrote to him, except to say it's probably pretty much what you would expect i would write to gil gerard at 4:15am after 18 diet vodka slushies and a benadryl.

i didn't even really remember doing it.  at least not until...he wrote me back.

and i haven't had a drop since.  ha, totally fucking kidding, but i haven't gotten drunk since. 

let this be a lesson to you assclowns.  don't make the same mistakes i did.  do your homework, eat your beets, and masturbate in the privacy of your own cubicle. 

[Ebon]

Of all the people I would possibly drunk facebook, Gil Gerard is absolutely the last person on the the list.....Plus that's not usually one of my drunken hobbies

[JSayonara]

Ah, fuck it.

I sent out a few drunken missives when I was younger.
Got a couple of cool replies too.

If ever I'm famous, any letters I get that stink of Carling Black Label, bitter tears and skunk will automatically get a reply in honour of fucked up JSay.

I shall however not include a forwarding address.

I have to say though, you picked Buck fucking Rogers..what, you couldn't find anyone cool to stalk?

[powersthatbe]

I fb'd with once gil gerard too,on a comment he made about cajun food.My biggest FB celebrity shared commenting was with wrestling's eric bischoff,he made a post he was a steeler fan,i asked him why and he replied that when he was younger he lived in the eastern part of pittburgh,FB is cool that way.

[Burn]

My girlfriend Jeanie got a text from her co-worker Amber very late Saturday night.  It was something to the tune of, "I'm so sick of my job that I want to stab myself in the neck with a fork."  So when Monday came around, Jeanie cracked a joke about Amber stabbing herself in the neck with a fork.  Amber chuckled.  When I was having lunch with Jeanie in the conference room, Amber came in and chatted for a bit, and Jeanie made another reference (this time with hand motions) to Amber stabbing herself in the neck with a fork.  Amber chuckled again and left the room.  As soon as I was gone, she approached Jeanie and asked her what she was talking about.  Jeanie told her about the text.  She said she had sent no such thing, and that it must have been some other Amber.  Jeanie showed her the text.  Amber then looked it up on her phone, and saw that she had also sent the same message to their boss, Margaret, who was 1)out on Monday and 2)luckily has a good sense of humor.  Amber said she had no memory whatsoever of sending that text, and that she gets "really medicated on weekends."

[StrayCatBlues]

Bloody hell!!! You know what you have to do Matt. Quit the booze and shit again.... That's rock bottom friend! What did he say??? Has he set you up with Twiki??

[Burn]

My Gil Gerard story.

When I was a wee one, like 5 or 6 years old, I went to a car show and met Twiki.  It was my first celebrity encounter ever.  My mom loves to tell the story of how I went into shock and almost passed out.  I had a picture of me and Twiki hanging in my bedroom for years, and it still hangs in my hallway amongst my assortment of family photos. 

A few years back, I was attending a con in Dallas where the little guy that played Twiki, Gil Gerard, and Erin Gray would all be selling autographs.  I thought that this would be a super-cool, nostalgic picture to frame side-by-side with a personal memento.  Not to mention a stellar Mother's Day gift! 

Flash forward to the convention.  I'm in a line that passes by all the autograph tables.  The first table is the Buck Rodgers trio.  Next is a Babylon 5: Crusade chick.  Then there's Admiral Ackbar and Aurra Sing.  (Leave it to George Lucas to take a woman so utterly fucking hot and then paint her white, shave her head, and stick an antenna in it.)  As I approach the Buck Rodgers trio, I see little Twiki playing with himself.  Honestly, he was sitting there playing with a Twiki action figure, in his own little world, not in the least bit interacting or even noticing the passers-by.  Erin Gray, who has clearly received only the absolute best in plastic surgery, still looked legitimately to be in her 20's.  And I mean college cheerleader 20's.  And then there was Gil Gerard.  Poor, poor Gil Gerard.  He looked like he borrowed Eddie Murphy's "Nutty Professor" fat-suit.  I mean, the girth on this man looked completely fake.  Like I would NOT have given his costume designer an award for this completely overdone, unrealistically proportioned fat-suit.  I had to convince my mind's eye that what I was looking at was real.  I was clearly not the only person stunned by his appearance, because no one was asking for his autograph or even talking to him.  And he knew it. Gil Gerard just sat there saying, "Hello?  Hey!  Over here!  Remember me?  Buck Rodgers!"  Needless to say, the idea of this grouping for a photograph just seemed too damned depressing.  I never even told my mom that I had the opportunity, much less that I passed on it. 

Gil Gerard was the most pathetic guest I have ever seen at a con.  And that's saying something; I once saw Butch Patrick in a dunking booth.

[John Moores]

This thread is funny as fuck.

That said, I really wanna see the Gil Gerard exchange.

[Burn]

Me, too!!!  I can't wait to hear Gil's "thanks for noticing me" response to whatever Poots said.

[Marv-El]

And yet, William Hung gets a record deal. America the Pitiful.

[John Moores]

Come on, Poot. 10,000 mojo for the full exchange. Or minus 10,000, if that's how you swing.

[pootboy]

gonna take more'n that frenchie.  specially considering my mojo has already been maxed out by a disgruntled intern, and i would need -70k+ to get me to -6969, where i fucking belong.

i think it better you just let your imagination run wild.  think of it like wolverine's origin, or the clone wars, before they fucked it up by showing them.  revel in the tantalizing mystery of mine and gil gerard's facebook relationship.

[EvilWilma]

I'm sorry.  I came in here because I thought Poot said he'd hit some nerdbottom, which struck me as something totally different.  Now that I'm here, and it's just that Pooty is fucked up again, it's a lot less titillating.

[StrayCatBlues]

Unless he hit Buck Rogers nerdbottom, right?? 

[Benjamin Grimm]

He hit it and then proceeded to gently quit it.

Peace,

Chip

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