Season 2 - The Last Will and Testament of the Superfriends!
by Haterade


Please, Mr. Luthor!  Please don’t hurt my DADDY!

You’ve got BALLS, kid… More balls than that old man of yours…

All right—I’ll spare his worthless life.  But promise me you’ll grow up and be a REAL MAN, not like that bunsen-burner sniffing father of yours!

So when ALEX ROSS approached you to impersonate me, you JUMPED at the chance!  Even though it meant betraying your OWN KIND!  Your own SON!  Isn’t that right—DR. BENTON QUEST!


Yes!  It’s TRUE!   Alex DID approach me…


Hello, Benton.  Long time no see…

Well, if it isn’t ALEX FUCKING ROSS himself… Come to URINATE on me I suppose—the way you do with MOST classic designs!  Well, I charge a five spot for watersports, bunky!

I have a proposition for you, Benton… How would you like to get REVENGE on the man that left you marinating in your own feces… The man who emasculated you in front of your own son?  How would you like to FINALLY get some PAYBACK!

So the PISS-POOR PICASSO had you surgically altered to look like a cross between ME and his HIGH SCHOOL GYM COACH!  But you didn't count on Superman's TWINK snapping a picture of the procedure!  So you killed him!  And then you and JOKER murdered LOIS LANE as well!


AGGGHHHHH!!!    Lois and Jimmy HAD to die... If Ross' KINGDOM COME future were to come to PASS!  Can't...CAN'T KEEP UP!

SPEED UP, you say?  Happy to oblige! LEX CAN’T DRIVE…55!

LEX, THE ASPHALT-- IT BURNS!!!  IT BURNS!!! In the name of DECENCY, stop this HORRIBLE TORTURE!


You're begging the wrong evil asshole for MERCY, ROADKILL!  TALK!  What ELSE?
 


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